she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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