I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
