i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
