News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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