I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize