That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
