I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
