ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
