I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
