She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
