Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
