My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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