Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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