It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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