Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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