I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
