Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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