Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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