I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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