I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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