What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
