sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
