Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
