were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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