All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize