haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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