the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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