i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
