we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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