So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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