The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
