dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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