Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
