i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
