Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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