I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
