I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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