is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
