HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
