So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
