If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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