you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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