Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
