your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
