i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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