he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
