IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
