i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
