Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
