that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
