It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
