I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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