i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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