I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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