I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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