so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and she was petting her beer can
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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