I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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