Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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