We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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