You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
handjob tips. give me some.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
