I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
