I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He felt like a one man threesome
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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