She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
